These letters arrived at the North Pole very late, so Mrs. Claus needs to sort through them quickly, check the list to see who's been naughty and who's been nice, and see what can be scraped together. It's Christmas Day, so she doesn't have time to comment.

Dear Santa,

All my toys are rented from Disney. There's one I really like a lot, but my parents probably won't raise my allowance enough to let me keep him. Please do whatever you can to keep the other kids from taking him away from me.

Yours truly,
Bill Stoneman
Anahiem, California

Dear Santa,

I need a new trading gun. I can't seem to pull the trigger on this old one. No matter how long I spend with the other kids tweaking and adjusting things, nothing happens. Playing with it is sort of fun, but without a trigger, it seems sort of pointless.

Syd Thrift
Baltimore, Maryland

Dear Santa,

I have several new toys already this year, but they will be far cooler with accessories. I've taken the liberty of listing a few for you to chose from: Titanium wrist guards, Mithril elbow pads, and Smoked ham strings.

Sincerely,
Dan Duquette
Boston, Massachusetts

Dear Santa,

My house is very dreary and industrial-looking. I think that my extended family would visit more frequently if I could do some redecorating. Please bring some wallpaper, paint, and a few thousand comfortable chairs.

Your Friend,
Ken Williams
Chicago, Illinois

Dear Santa,

I've recently traded some of my toys, angering several members of my extended family. They don't understand that the replacements will be almost as useful and last much longer. If there's nothing that you can do to make them understand, maybe you could bring me some bubble wrap to protect some of my more fragile toys, and perhaps a flak jacket for me.

Sincerely,
Mark Shapiro
Cleveland, Ohio

Dear Santa,

I have three bags, but almost all the boys want to play with the first one. It might make my front yard look strange, but I would be happy to let you have my second bag if you could just bring me another first bag for them to play around. If you can't give more than one first bag to anyone, then please bring me the Pokey Little Shortstop.

Your Friend,
Randy Smith
Detroit, Michigan

Dear Santa,

I've really let my toy collection deteriorate. I squander my allowance and don't have the money to pay to keep my nicest toys. I'm probably going to lose another one this year. If you bring me a whole bunch of new ones, then maybe I won't miss the old toys so much.

Sincerely,
Allard Baird
Kansas City, Missouri

Dear Santa,

I live in a giant Hefty bag and no one really likes to come see me in it. I need a new place to live, but my extended family won't help pay for it because they helped pay for the Hefty bag in the first place. It's gotten so bad that the other kids may try to kick me out of the club. Please help.

Yours truly,
Terry Ryan
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Dear Santa,

I already have everything I want this year. I am writing this letter to verify that my interests in the future are secured. I do not relinquish my right to presents in the coming years, and formally request that you drop off a voucher for this year's gift(s).

With Regards,
Brian Cashman
New York, New York

Dear Santa,

Another kid took my best toy, but I'm going to show him. I'm going to have just as much fun with my other toys. However, if you could please bring me a power action figurine, you'd make a little boy very happy.

Your Friend,
Billy Beane
Oakland, California

Dear Santa,

I already have at least one more toy than I want. In fact, I would really like it if I could trade him, but I think he might become so expensive that the other kids won't want him either. Please find a new home for Da Bouncing Bell.

Sincerely,
Pat Gillick
Seattle, Washington

Dear Santa, Some of the younger boys in my family have some really great tools, but they don't really know how to use them. If you could bring them the instructions they need, their games would be much more fun.

Chuck LaMar
Tampa Bay, Florida

Dear Santa,

I just bought the coolest, most expensive wind-up toy available, but my collection would be complete if you could bring me Melee Sele. I think if I add him, I will be able to win many battles against my friends.

Yours truly,
John Hart
Arlington, Texas

Dear Santa,
For the most part, I believe in helping oneself. However, I'm not going to pass up this opportunity. Could you please bring me a good tailor? There are many young men in my family, and they grow out of their clothes quickly.

Sincerely,
J.P. Ricciardi
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Tomorrow, we will return to our normal news commentary. Happy Holidays.