These letters arrived at the North Pole very late, so Mrs. Claus needs to sort through them quickly, check the list to see who's been naughty and who's been nice, and see what can be scraped together. Santa's busy tuning the sleigh bells.

Dear Santa,

I couldn't wait, so I purchased my own Christmas presents. However, I had to borrow money to pay for them. All I want now is cash. If it is against Elf policy to just write checks, I could also use gift certificates to the Ponce de Leon Spa.

Yours truly,
Joe Garagiola, Jr.
Phoenix, Arizona

Mrs. Claus: My goodness what an awful little boy, but it says here that he won some sort of prize this year so he must have been good. Those gift certificates are impossible to find, he'll just have to make due with these One-A-Day vitamins for Active Seniors.

Dear Santa,

My family has many growing boys. Could you please find new homes for some of the older guys? They take up a lot of space and aren't very much fun.

We've also been sad because hardly anyone has come to our special fall festival the last few years. Is there anything you can do? Without your help we may not even hold the festival next year. I hope the naughtiness of some of the other boys doesn't mean you won't bring any presents this year.

John Schuerholz
Atlanta, Georgia

Dear Mr. Claus,

With the new toys I just bought, I have almost everything I need. I might even have too many backstops. My house could use some remodeling, but all I really want is to beat the other kids on my block. It's been so long since my team won a trophy.

Respectfully Yours,
Andy MacPhail
Chicago, Illinois

P.S. Please tell my friend Don Baylor not to break my new toys.

Oh, my, there's really nothing Santa can do about Don. We'll just have to make sure that Andy gets some Glue Sticks in his stocking

Dear Santa,

I really like outfielders, but everybody says I already have more than I need. I really want some of those figurines complete with realistic arm action, but I'd be happy with a few new slingshots. I'd also be very happy if you could talk to my parents about raising my allowance.

Jim Bowden
Cincinnati, Ohio

Note for Santa: He's had some problems with the expensive toy you delivered two years ago. Check to make sure that it has been properly fixed.

Dear Santa,

I would like a dome with a giant air compressor. The air in my house is very thin. I've done some things to try to adjust, but I just want to be normal. Half the kids will barely talk to me, and lately the nicest guys have been avoiding spending too much time at my house because they think I hurt their reputations.

Dan O'Dowd
Denver, Colorado

Note from Teacher - No one from Florida was in class to write. They all were out sick after eating too many turnovers.

Dear Santa, Please bring me a shovel. There is a small hill in my back yard around the flagpole. It looks strange with the big hole in the left side of my front yard, but I don't know what I should use to fill it.

Gerry Hunsicker
Houston, Texas

Dear Santa,

I have some very expensive toys, but I don't enjoy playing with any of them. I would be happy to trade with the other kids, except they don't want them either. Could you please bring a few hundred gallons of Pledge with which to polish them, or maybe just some short wind-up toys with arm action.

Sincerely,
Dan Evans
Los Angeles, California

Dear Santa,

I would like a copy of Gray's Anatomy. Several members of my family have been hurt recently and I want to find out what's wrong so I can fix it. Please hurry; the longer I have to wait, the more people suffer.

Your Friend,
Dean Taylor
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

P.S. Thank you for the castle you brought last year. It's a great new place to play.

Dear Santa,

I want to move. None of the other kids like to play at my house and nobody watches over us. If I don't find somewhere nicer to live, I think the other kids might vote me out of the club.

Sincerely,
Larry Beinfest
Montreal, Quebec, Canada

That's so sad, but Santa's just an immortal, not a miracle worker.

Dear Santa,

I know exactly what I want. I only need one more action figure to have a complete set of Starting Lineup toys. I could trade with one of the other kids, but I'd rather have one that's fresh off the shelf.

Steve Phillips
New York, New York

Finally, a request we might still be able to fill.

Dear Santa,

I'm probably going to have to give my coolest toy away this year. I don't know how I'm ever going to replace him. If there's nothing you can do to help me keep Rockin' Rollin, could you please bring me a shiny new replacement?

Sincerely,
Ed Wade
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Booing Santa automatically equals coal. Maybe Ed should try the Tooth Fairy.

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like a bulldozer and some red bricks. I will use these materials to repair the wall behind home plate. I don't know what I was thinking last year by installing gold bricks that look more like Styrofoam than a pretty yellow brick road. If you can't manage all of that, could you at least bring a few cans of paint in a nice color?

Yours truly,
Dave Littlefield
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas are extra stamps. I need to be able to send some of my new toys back and forth between my house in San Diego and my house in Portland. Without extra postage, they might get lost in the mail and go to some other kid.

Your friend,
Kevin Towers
San Diego, California

Dear Santa,

Last year was a great year. I really liked my new sandbox. I already know what toy I'm going to get. It's really cool, but is probably so expensive that I won't be able to have any others for a while. However, the toy does have some features that are only activated when its sidekicks are around. If you bring me one or two accessories, I promise to be a very good boy.

Thanks again,
Brian Sabean
San Francisco, California

Dear Santa,

I had to stop playing with the toy that has been my favorite for the last few years. It was starting to get very worn out. I still have several good toys, but I don't love them nearly as much. I'm worried that without the old toy people won't think I'm cool anymore. Is there anything you can do to help?

Walt Jocketty
St. Louis, Missouri

Note to Santa: Check out this old toy. Maybe the elves can fix it and you can bring it back next year.

The letters from the AL GM's were delayed in the mail on the way to the North Pole. They should arrive tomorrow.